Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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