Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
