theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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