Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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