he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
