i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just sucked dick on a ferry
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize