I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
