It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
