so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
