so that wasnt chicken after all
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
