Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
