omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize