I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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