You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
