I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
