do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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