Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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