dude i'm inner monologue high
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
