The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
