Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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