I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
