its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
