ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
jump out the window naked night went bad
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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