yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
