hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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