That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
