We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i believe in u and ur pee
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
