That's intense
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
