P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
