sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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