p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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