Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize