I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You are a genius and a whore.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
