im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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