So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
