p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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