Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
