do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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