so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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