any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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