Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
