Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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