glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
