I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
