he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize