wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
