Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
