i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
