and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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