I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
