very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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