I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
