Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
is wine microwaveable?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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