My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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