You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So much Jack, so little girl.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
