Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
