hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
