doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
