i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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